365 Days in Aspen


do-not-spoilAs I write in a new book about "wants," I reflect on the benefits and detriments of "wanting." And the "whys of the wants." 

Is "wanting" a bad thing? Does it take you out of the moment, preventing you from appreciating what you have? Some "experts" say you can't get "more" unless you appreciate what you have, but if you already appreciate what you have, why would you want to have more? 

If I was standing before you, looking as put-together as I can, but there's a small spot on my blouse, what would you notice? If I have a big smile, but also a blemish, what do you see? If you live in a beautiful place, but complain about a day or two with bad weather, does it mean you're too spoiled? Does not being happy keep you from ever being happy? 

Or are they all signs that you need to change in some way. Change your location, change your friends, change your lifestyle, change your habits, change your job? 

These questions can only be answered by the individual. (I'm addressing my own perspective in this new book I'm writing).  I will say that if everything always stayed the same, if we had no "downs," how could we appreciate the "ups?" 

One of my favorite teachers/philosophers, Anthony de Mello, talks about the fleeting the joy of possessions. You want a new car, thinking you'll be so happy when you get it. And you are, but after a short period of time, the joy diminishes. Like with people, you take it for granted. Or, perhaps you start noticing its flaws. The spot on the blouse. The scratch on the car. The "bad weather days" in paradise.